Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
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Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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