oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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