break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This girl is more easily done than said...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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