There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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