Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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