Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
