He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
