the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Drake has all the answers
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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