Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
