No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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he laminated a picture of his dick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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