and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
