Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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