summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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