I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
