Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
