playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
