She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
