we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
