If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
