I swear god or herbie drove my car home
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
