Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize