i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
