ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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