Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
