we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
