This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
