its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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