i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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