I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
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