Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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