What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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