Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
