we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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