Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
