Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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