She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
