That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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