I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
