Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
