I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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