this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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