She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
