..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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