You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think i have two assholes
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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