sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
