She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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