i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
