She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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