so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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