so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
