you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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