You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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