I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize