i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
