I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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