Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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