we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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