If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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