btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
