I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
